洗碗精宿命 (Dish Soap Karma)
Music: YugamiP
Piano Arrange: 不可考
Lyrics: Charles (碇P)
Vocal: Xia Yu Yao (夏語遙)
十一月的第八天 我來到這世界
On the eighth day of November, I came to this world.
結果我想不到就要 代言洗碗精
But I never imagined that I’d become the spokesperson for dish soap[1]
還有那個 菜瓜布的設定很貼心
and that I’d also become very closely linked with scrub sponges.
不知道是不是作者對我不高興
I don’t know if it was that the producer was unhappy with me.
算了啦 反正我 都被叫乳搖
Forget it. Anyway, I’ve already been called jiggling boobs[2].
帶著洗碗精出門去 也沒什麼大不了
It’s no big deal just to take this dish soap with me whenever I go out.
但是我心裡明明是 在哭泣
But I’m obviously crying deep in my heart.
為什麼要讓我的出場變得很詭異
Why did my first appearance end up turning out so weirdly?
話說這次 又想要我唱什麼歌曲
Having said that, what kind of song do you want me to sing this time?
沒想到是Alice這可愛的旋律
I didn’t think it’d be this cute melody about Alice.
讓我想拿菜瓜布去擼掉你的皮
It makes me want to grab a scrub sponge and scrub off your skin
順便喂你喝下那美味的洗碗精
and even help you drink down some delicious dish soap in passing
告訴大家你們 別 惹 我生氣
so as to tell everyone that all of you shouldn’t provoke my anger.
我不知道我到底還 會唱出什麼東西
I don’t know exactly what other kinds of things I’ll be singing.
看你們在螢幕前面 笑得很開心
Seeing all of you in front of the screen laughing so happily,
那我晚上就去夢裡 好好調教你
I’ll just go to your dreams at night then and soundly teach you a lesson.
看著網路上面那 低迷的點閱率吶
Seeing those low clickthrough rates on the internet,
還真擔心我 能不能成為台灣歌姬
I even genuinely worry about whether I can become Taiwan’s songstress.
如果沒有人可以寫出一首神曲
If no one is able to write a godly song,
那我也只好去賣場 推銷洗碗精
then the only thing I can do is go sell some dish soap at the market.
各位阿姨看過來 這裡有特價
All you aunties, look over here! A special sale is going on!
買一罐還送兩罐 免費送菜瓜布
Buy one bottle, get two free! I’ll even throw in a scrub sponge!
只要小小的五十塊錢 就能帶回家
You can take this home now for the low, low price of NT$50!
如果這不是便宜 什麼才叫做便宜
If this isn’t considered cheap, then what is?!
當整天 的推銷員 真是 好命苦
Having to act as a salesperson for an entire day really is a bitter life to lead.
東西賣完了 批貨錢還 不夠付
After the sales have finished, there’s not even enough to pay for the cost of the goods.
老闆叫我明天不用去上班了
The boss tells me that I don’t need to come to work tomorrow
因為我被炒魷魚啦
because I’ve been fired.
來了一天 回家躺在 我的浴缸裡
After this day, I go home and lie in the bathtub,
吹著手上的泡泡 哼著那首旋律
blowing on the bubbles in my hands while humming that melody.
想到我的遭遇就 開始流淚不停
When I think of my experiences, my tears begin flowing uncontrollably,
居然發現我的眼淚 都變洗碗精
and I suddenly discover that even my tears have turned into dish soap.
眼前的世界 忽然都透明了起來 好美麗
Suddenly, the world before my eyes seems to become clear — how beautiful.
真希望老天爺 讓我忘了那些不開心
I truly wish that God will let me forget all of that unhappiness.
鏡中的Alice說
The Alice within the mirror says,
好吧 我答應你
“All right, I promise you.”
結果我被裝進瓶子 送去賣場裡
In the end, I’m stuffed into a bottle and sent to the market.
[1] This is referring specifically to the song “XWJ Hero” (XWJ = dish detergent) which was the first Xia Yu Yao song to gain significant popularity and inextricably linked her with dish soap (and scrub sponges). (↳ return)
[2] Probably referring to how, when she first came out, people joked that her name was 下乳搖 (“Jiggling Underboobs”) just because it sounded somewhat similar to her actual name. (↳ return)
This is a parody of the song Alice Human Sacrifice.
Fish Snacks Translations 